One of the big issues any dude worries about on a first date is how the lady’s going to act and feel. We think plenty about how our breath smells and if that shirt still fits okay and maybe even if our belt and shoes go together, but even beyond that, we’re worried about how nervous our lady’s going to be. We don’t just mean when we pick her up or meet her, either. Closing the date nicely also counts, and it’s hard to do if the lady’s too jittery to feel comfortable coming back home with you. According to some parts of our bodies and brains, it’s the only thing that counts. Not getting laid at the end can make it feel like the whole thing was a waste of time, even if you already have a second date scheduled. That second date might even already feel tainted; if she never got over her nerves on the first date, is she still going to be jittery on the second? It’s all a huge downer and not something any of us want to deal with after a date. It’s much easier to help her feel completely comfortable the first time.
Unfortunately, there’s no universal “Guide to Sex and Dating: What Men Expect” pamphlet that we can hand chicks. It would be nice if there was; our lives would be easier, especially since then women would write one and we could rely on it. Instead, it’s up to each individual guy to try to nudge his dates along the way he wants them to go. The babe you’re with should be doing the same thing so that you’re both getting what you want. If that doesn’t happen, she’s just going to stop returning your calls.
When You Get Together
When you and your lady first meet up for your date, whether that means you pick her up or you get together in the restaurant’s lobby, it’s the perfect time to start easing her nerves. You can probably see some sign of jitters if she has them. Maybe her palms are sweaty, or maybe she keeps tapping her foot. Maybe she has some other sign. Whatever it is, you need to try to head it off. Get her involved in a conversation. Ask about something you know she planned to do. Maybe, when you set up the date, she told you that Friday didn’t work because she was going skydiving. That’s a perfect thing to start talking about. If you get her talking about herself or some activity she’s just done, it’s a subject she knows pretty well, and it should help calm her down. That helps guide your date toward ending in sex; she’s not nearly as worried as she was, and that means she’s more at ease with you—more open to the idea of being closer to you.
During Your Meal
Her nerves might return while you eat. That’s normal, even though it sucks. Just think about how many more things women have to worry about than dudes do when they start dating someone new. We have to worry about if we have bad breath and whether or not we’ll get laid. They have to worry about whether their date is going to slip them roofie. The two don’t really compare when you think of it like that. Cut her some slack, but at the same time, don’t let the date start to drag. If you did your job when you met and when you set up the date, you know enough about her to be able to have some fun in a conversation. Maybe you can tease her about how that slime mold she’s experimenting with is threatening to eat Manhattan. It does take some knowledge of her background and interests to follow through on that, but you don’t need a sex and dating guide to tell you that you should be interested in the person you’re dating, do you?
Don’t control the conversation too much. Let her take over some when she seems less nervous and more relaxed. She should get to know you just as much as you get to know her, and it gives you an excuse to make yourself look good. Talk yourself up without being obvious about it. If you can slip some joke in there about how you polled your ex-girlfriends and they rated you a ten out of ten in the stack, but you lost the folder you had it saved in, you should be able to get her to laugh, and you’ll guide the date toward sex at the same time.
When she seems to be coming out of her shell is about when it’s time to introduce some touching. Don’t be afraid to touch her hand or arm while you talk to her. You don’t want to sit there like you’re out with your sister. If you never get the idea of physical contact into the date, it’s not going anywhere. If you’re in a booth, slide your leg far enough toward her side that your calf and hers can touch. Any woman over the age of sixteen who doesn’t have severe religious prohibitions on people of opposite genders touching should be fine with that. If she’s not, she can move her leg and say something. (Make sure you know about possible religious prohibitions ahead of time.)
When you’re taking care of the bill is a good time to ask if she wants to go see a movie before you head your separate ways. It’s also, if things have gone really well, a good time to ask if she wants to come home with you. A guy can hope, and it’s entirely possible she’ll say yes, first date or no. Try phrasing it as, “Want to come back to my place for a nightcap?” which is something anyone of dating age knows means, “Want to come back to my place to have sex?” It’s a good idea to be sure you have some quality liquor to use as a nightcap in case she does drink though, just so you don’t look too obvious.
You might not get laid even if she does come back to your place. Just because you’ve guided the date toward sex doesn’t mean she has to follow through. You’ve at least broken through her first date jitters though and you should get some quality making out from having her over at your place. Let her set the pace at this point. You’re probably ready to go and maybe go again, but she might need longer. Get some more advice on sex finder sites. Visit flingtacticsguide.com and get the sex finder dating tactics to make sure that you succeed in getting her to bed. However, you should also keep in mind that women take longer to get used to the idea of sex with a new person than guys do. For us, all we need to get used to the idea is to see an hourglass figure in a summer dress and we’re ready. We’re pretty sure part of the reason it takes babes longer to get used to the idea of sex with a new guy is because we’re usually so ready to go. If you’ve done everything right during dinner, you’re fine. You’ll get in her pants soon.